Lonely

Lately, I’ve been feeling lonely.

It’s not that I don’t have people I could talk to. I actually chose not to reach out because I wanted some time alone — time to recharge and be with my own thoughts. But what I didn’t expect was how hard it would be to make that alone time feel good for me. Instead of peaceful solitude, it sometimes feels like I’m just circling inside my own head.

One thing I am genuinely proud of is that I started going to the gym. I’ve gone two days in a row and I’m planning to go again tomorrow. I’m hoping that moving my body and creating some routine will help me feel a little lighter mentally. Even if it’s just a small step, it still feels like progress.

I also went out to do some holiday shopping. At first, it felt nice to get out, walk around, and do something seasonal. But afterward, the guilt hit — I spent money on things I didn’t really need. So now I’m sitting with that uncomfortable mix of trying to comfort myself while also feeling bad about how I did it.

On top of everything else, I’m trying to lose weight. That part is its own struggle. The cravings, the frustration, the constant mental tug-of-war — it can be exhausting. Some days it feels like I’m fighting with myself just to make choices I know are good for me.

What I’m slowly realizing is that loneliness isn’t always about being physically alone. Sometimes it’s about feeling disconnected from yourself — unsure how to support the person you’re spending the most time with… you.

I definitely don’t have it all figured out. But I’m still showing up to the gym. I’m still trying to be honest with myself about how I feel. And I’m learning — slowly — how to let this quiet time help me grow instead of letting it weigh me down.

If you’re feeling anything like this too, you’re not alone.

Maybe just doing our best is enough for today.

Here are 10 ideas to help:

• Create one daily “micro-connection.” Send a text, comment, or short voice note — it counts.

• Build a repeat routine with others. A weekly class, gym time, or meetup where you see the same faces.

• Practice being gently open. Share one honest sentence about how you’re really doing with someone safe.

• Volunteer or help someone. Feeling useful can reduce loneliness more than just being included.

• Spend time in shared spaces. Coffee shops, libraries, parks — you’re alone, but not isolated.

• Limit passive scrolling. Swap some of it for active interaction (messages, calls, group chats).

• Adopt a “tiny reach-out rule.” If you think of someone, reach out within 5 minutes — before doubt talks you out of it.

• Join a community around an interest. Book club, gaming server, crafting group, fitness class — shared purpose bonds people.

• Care for your body kindly. Sleep, movement, meals, sunlight — they boost mood and motivation to connect.

• Create meaning in your alone time. Journal, learn something new, or make something — feeling connected to yourself matters too.

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And remember — you don’t have to carry it all alone. When things feel heavy, don’t forget to ok2vent.